Create a “NOT-To-Do” List
Here I am, happily and symbolically with a sun hat, waving goodbye to things, habits, and people in my life who take more energy than they give!
We are very good at creating “To Do” lists – in life in general but at work in particular. But in order to create a balanced life filled with purpose and energy for the things we truly value and love, we can’t keep on adding things to our lives. We have to start removing, decluttering, and prioritizing. We can’t be everywhere. We can’t be constantly available. And we can’t please everyone. We have to change our DO:s into DON’T:s.
Have you ever thought about creating a “To NOT Do” list — a “don’t” or “NOT-To-Do” list?! A list of all the things, habits, or people that you don’t want in your life any longer. Things that you, in true Marie Kondo spirit, want to clean out of your life since they no longer spark joy. It could also be things that reduce your productivity, that is out of your control, that emotionally drain you, or that distract you from achieving what you truly want in life. Just like we clean out our closets once in a while of clothes that do not fit any longer, we also need to make an effort to clean our mental space of what takes more energy than it gives — in order to truly make space for what gives us happiness, energy, balance, and overall good health.
How To Start Making a “NOT-To-Do” List
In order to start the process of cleaning out our mental space, we have to do an honest inventory of our current life situation and ask ourselves three important questions:
1.) What things in my life take more energy than they give?
2.) What activities or habits in my life take more energy than they give?
3.) What people in my life take more energy than they give?
The purpose of this inventory of your life situation is to start localizing where your bad energy goes and to start creating a life where you live more on purpose with everything you do, the things you own, and the people you hang out with. By becoming more conscious about where your energy goes, you can slowly, one day at a time, reduce things, habits, and people who take more energy than they give, and start focusing on things, habits, and people who give more energy than they take. Little by little you will start seeing a change. You will become a happier, healthier, and more balanced version of yourself today than you were yesterday. Not perfect, just a tiny bit closer to your end goal, whatever that is for you. Two things are certain though. You will feel more energized: 1.) because you have started to get more good energy by removing the bad one; and, 2.) because you have actually started to take back control of your life.
What To Include in a “NOT-To-Do” List
You can include anything on your list that suits your life and situation. You can write it all at once, or add one thing per day until you are satisfied with it. I started my “Not-To-Do” list today and will continuously add more items and review it a couple of times a year. Some examples from my list are the following:
To not hang out with people who take more mental energy than they give.
To not eat meat or any animal products.
To not skip meditation in the morning.
To not bring my personal phone into my home office (in order to avoid distraction).
To not buy a new piece of clothing unless I sell or donate an old one. The so-called “one in one out” rule will help me towards less consumption, to buy only what I absolutely love, and more circular thinking.
To not say Yes to activities when I truly need to prioritize some “me-time”.
To not worry about things that are out of my control. Just. Let. Go.
Today I waved the things goodbye that I no longer want in my life — with a sun hat and a big smile. Being able to clean out negative energy with a smile emphasizes that this doesn’t have to be a hard process. On the contrary, it’s an incredibly liberating and empowering feeling to be in control of your own mental energy, and to decide who or what will enter that space. Try it yourself! Start writing the first bullet point of your “NOT-To-Do” list today!
